Hope.

So today, i was in a car ride for about an hour to a village.
I've never had such mixed emotions at the same time before. There's so much incredible beauty in this land it will take your breath away...the crops, hills, and everything green with the river and red dirt...it's the most  beautiful mixture.
God is such an artist :)
And then you see these people, these kids that are so young, walking with water jugs on their heads -- knowing that they must be walking far from home to get clean water to drink.
And you see these naked babies playing in the dirt, just sitting there.
And you see these men who look so empty and lost...finding comfort in alcohol of massive amounts.
And you see poverty...you can smell it even.
And yes i know i may be a "immature" at Africa since it is my first time, but i'm just observing-- trying to take everything in.
The run down brick buildings,
the mud huts,
the hungry children,
and then you hear laughter and you see joy,
but then i also see addiction and pain.
All in one place?
I don't quite know how to take it in....
And in my mind i'm thinking literally, "Why can't some wealthy ruler come in, tear down this town and just rebuild it. Rebuild the economy. Rebuild every house and building. Give these people jobs. Give these people sustainability. Give these people clean roads, clean water, and enough food to eat.
Jesus, give them all of these things, please, why can't they have all of these things?
Things like i have had the opportunity of having.....
Ha, but that's where i'm so wrong.
My heart and my head wants all of these precious people to here to have all of the things i see as comforting.
I want them to have clean sheets, a warm bed, a loving mom to tuck them in every night, a good place to eat, a clean place to cook, clothes for everyone.
But these are all things, and things will pass away.
As much as i try to deny it, THINGS are so very insignificant. As much as i would like to hope it would be, because in my so fallible mind it makes sense to think that, THINGS are the answer.
But then i hear that laughter out of this poverty stricken place and i'm reminded of Joy.
That i need to get out of my "things" "American" "selfish" mindset and realize whats truly important.
Hope.
See, as much i would like to help every single person and give them every comfort that i was graced with having.
I can't.
I am not the answer for them, nor is anything i can give them.
And yes, giving to these people and these children is necessary. It's a MUST. It's a way to show the Heart of the One and Only Hope.
But when these precious people's conditions on earth can't really get much better, at the end of the day, they need to hear laughter.
They need to see smiles.
They need to see that life goes beyond today.
That things will fade away with our bodies, but there is something so much more beyond that, and it will last forever.
As much as i look as these people and see that they are dying.
Well, we are all right there with them.
We are all dying eventually.
Hope isn't different in my home as it is here. They need the same hope. That Hope will bring them life. It is the answer, the only answer. He is the only answer.
So i'm praying that Jesus will be brought to them. That i can even be used in the slightest to show them His character.
To be able to give them food or water or clothes in order for them to see that beyond the gifts, there's a gift waiting for them of ETERNAL life and of eternal joy and of no more pain or hurt.
So that's my prayer today..
That i would stop living as if there wasn't an end of my days here on earth.
 That i would embrace the wonderful things and opportunities each day, even when they don't look so wonderful at the moment, and look forward to and work towards what's beyond my life, when my days are up on this earth :)
And ugh i'm so far from this.....i belong on NO pedistool and deserve NO acknowledgement, please. Like seriously.
I mess up every day in so many areas...these are things things are wrecking my heart lately.
And i'm learning..everyday am i learning.
And so i'm hoping that as you read this, you can join and learn with me.....