So this is short and simple.
Please help me and pray for this sweet little girl we call "Leena Loo"
She is about seven years old and a oh so tough! She puts me to shame, i must say.
Emily (who is basically a rock star) is off to kenya with her tomorrow.
We are so happy, excited, and grateful that we found this American doctor in Kenya that can fix her all up. She has had a rough couple of days....so please keep her in your prayers.
Pray that the treatment and surgery would be successful and that healing would begin to happen.
And that Jesus would shine in this little girl's strength and in her story.
She is a fighter, that is for sure.
And we trust the Hands that she's in and has been in all along.
Much love to you ALL!
This is sleepy Selina napping after a long day of feeling super sick.
And thanks for praying :) Goodness i love you guys.
So the past week has been filled with a whole lot.
A lot of laughter.
A lot of playing.
A lot of running errands.
A lot of medicine.
A lot of bed time dances.
A lot of rice and beans. (favorite)
A lot of unknowns.
A lot of confusion.
A lot of medical emergencies and questions.
A lot of educating myself how to properly and safely help to deliver a baby. (yeah, prayers appreciated!!)
A lot of prayer.
A lot of answered prayer.
A lot of moments just standing in awe of Jesus and how He really does listen.
And a lot of emotions.
Today, as i was putting neosporin and a band-aid on a tiny (but quite traumatic in his little eyes) cut, something hit me.
That I was really living here, being a "mommy" for fifteen little kiddos.
Helping them when they fall down,
changing dressings and bandages on quite traumatic and oh so painful-looking wounds,
hugging them when they seemed sad,
teaching them how to speak English better,
teaching their ABC's and 123's,
loving them through their wounded hearts and painful pasts and as they are learning how to deal with it all,
letting them have their moments when emotions overtake them that they don't even understand or know how to share,
smiling to the ones, who in their world, a smile is the only thing they can really understand,
loving their little brains that are all so different...some call them disabled, and yeah they are, but i like to see them as brilliant in their own little ways.
They keep me wandering, that's for sure :)
So yeah, in a simple moment of applying a band-aid, it all kind of became surreal to me.
As much as i want to go scream so loud at a mom who doesn't want her child, about how much she is missing out on and about how seriously awesome her little boy is. As much as i want her to want him, and to want to make pizzas with him....well, she just doesn't.
And for right now, God graced me with the opportunity to share laughs and to cuddle and to make pizza's with this little man.
This was the plan on August 30th, 2011 that was laid out before the beginning of time.
And today was your August 30th, 2011 that was laid out before the beginning of time.
Time.
It's a concept that as much as i really really really try hard at, my mind can't fully fathom.
Each moment of every day was carved out perfectly before the very existence of little me crossed ANY human mind in the slightest bit.
See, that fills each day with purpose. That the Creator of the Universe. The One that holds the stars. The One that can calm a storm with His voice. The One that set me free and out of bondage. Yeah, that One.
He saw me important enough to plan out my days.
To plan out our days.
Humbling, huh? It is for me.
And so even on the bad days, even on the confusing days, even on the stinky days that we wish would have never happened, He's calling out for me...for you..to hold fast. To keep going. To keep smiling. To keep joy ever-present. To walk forward. To be bold.
Because as much as He holds today, He holds tomorrow all the same. and the next day and the next.
He not only holds tomorrow, but He makes tomorrow.
So tonight as we made pizzas in the kitchen filled with laughter and music and flour everywhere, I couldn't help but to think....
my little man probably didn't understand the darkness he once felt.
He was so alone and abandoned....by the very mom who was supposed to be loving him.
His world really was darkness and isolation.
But I can just imagine it, that on the nights when he was all alone....him and his five year old self....
something helped him sleep. Something helped him maintain joy in his heart.
I do believe that even though he may not have understood where the comfort he was feeling came from.....I know that Jesus covered him in love when he was bound in loneliness.
That He whispered to his heart to hold fast. To keep hope. To move forward.
And so he would continue another day...in isolation and loneliness...but he continued none-the-less.
And then hope came...Ekisa came to the rescue of him.
He held on for THIS moment.
This moment of rescue. Of help. Of redemption and restoration.
He held on for love.
He held on for pizza nights like tonight.
And i can't wait to see what else he held on for...what else God has in mind for his future.
He saved him to bring him towards something else....to bring him into Hope.
And this little man is a leader.
I can't wait to see where God's miracle of time takes him next.
Walter, I love you.
You are my hero.
You are my constant reminder to keep going.
and to keep hoping.
and to keep loving.
and to keep smiling.
and to keep dancing.
and to keep helping.
and to keep caring.
You are God's little gift to me today.
He had you in mind for my August 30, 2011.
And he had me in mind for yours.
Much Much love!!
OH, today some of my favorite people shared a quote with me. And oh man is it good and so true.
"Wherever you are, be all there." -Jim Elliott.
So today, i could go into some deep thought, there's always a lot going on in my mind.
But instead, i want to share with you what my day looked like on a day like today.
No clinic visits.
No doctor appointments.
No errands to run.
Nowhere to be except with a fun group of kiddos and loving on them all day long.
The day started with well...CAFFEINE.
Due to my lack of sleep, caffeine is such a wonderful start to a morning...let me just say.
So after a morning of quiet, stretching, music, singing, attempted workouts, reading, writing, a cold shower, and lots of talking to Jesus about what was on my mind...i decided to LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
And oh did they ever... :)
It's a beautiful sunny day today.
The weather here is simply brilliant.
Not at all what i expected, but so brilliant none the less.
So under a big tree sat me and Zeke (or as i say zeekeeeey)...just clapping our hands and singing.
My failed attempts at picking up on the song he was singing in Lugandan made him giggle like a wild man. (and he has the best laugh i have possibly ever heard.)
So i continue on in my loud obnoxious noises, and we continue in obnoxious laughter and noise.
When it's brought to my attention by (not so discrete) Zak that he isn't really a fan of our singing, i go and join him in the yard.
And there he is in all of his wonder.....he is honestly the most FASCINATING kid i have ever met....making his noises and saying what he has to say with passion.
Having not the slightest idea what he is saying, he just starts to grin and then laugh.
He is playing hilarious games with the dogs.
It sort of looks like a Lord of the Rings scene and oh am i not even exagerating!
Then, Zak wants me to learn some of the games he plays by himself.
When i fail (again) to pick those up properly he starts to stand up.
I know exactly what this means....a game of chase!
And oh he loves to play chase....
Running around the yard forever and ever.....accomplished :)
Then i hear "Auntie, Auntie. Want it. Want it."
Yep, this is my little Rachel. She is always wanting me to stand her up and dance with her...and this is exactly what we did!
To the groovy music on the radio, we waltzed and waltzed around the yard...in all of our dancing glory.
The rest of the afternoon consisted of...
passion fruit snacks.
football playing.
practicing walking.
practicing talking.
tickling.
running.
laughing.
dancing.
coloring.
reading.
learning.
writing.
more laughing.
chasing.
crawling.
hide and seeking.
throw up cleaning,
sand box playing.
swinging.
singing.
and hand clapping.
Then lunch came.
So after some tired kiddos headed for nap,
and Auntie Jessica became an instant nurse for a sick sick little girl (i'm learning to be tougher at doctor stuff.)
It was time for a little bit of relaxing.
Rice and beans, a coke light, chocolate, and wonderful hang out conversation time with friends.
And a sweet mama here taught me how to make fresh squeezed passion fruit/orange juice.
I believe i will be making this daily now
When the kids woke up,
we had more coloring time
and reading story time.
And dancing time. (if you haven't gotten it yet, these kids LOVE to dance. and dance they will!)
They are still amused by my style of dance (or lack there of). haha
I thought I was good until I came here.....
We played some drums and put on some grass skirts.
We learned a little more about Jesus from our story book Bible.
We had some tantrums.
Had some timeouts.
And had just some times...
We had more laughs.
More interesting conversations...
And just lots of firsts!
After dinner and one last dance session.
Here i sit, with some hot African tea and cinnamon toast, pondering it all.
And completely humbled by my day graced with these kids' presence the whole time.
These kids show me resilience.
They show me strength.
They show me wisdom.
They show me joy.
They show me unquenchable love
and a thirst for learning more.
These kids, who were supposed to be loved, and held, and comforted when they were younger..... they had none of that.
Some of these little angels, have horrible pasts.
And here they are, just taking the day for what its worth.
Hugging every minute and asking every question that comes to their minds.
I'm serious, the resilience they show on a daily basis wrecks me.
And teaches me more and more.
So thanks Mweru, Walter, Jason, Zeke, Arafat, Debra, Rachel, Josh, Daniel, Amy, Jane, Selina, Zak, Tasha, and JoJo.
Thanks for spending the day with me, and refreshing my heart, showing me a little more what it means to really become like a child.
And to love out loud.
And the beauty that it brings to a life.
And thank you Jesus,
for lavishing Your character on these kiddos.
So that i can learn a little more about Your heart and who You are.
It is because of this day,
that I'm off to bed with a full heart and a smile on my face.
And it all goes back to the Creator of Love, Himself.
Beautiful.
Verse i'm loving today:
Psalm 63 : 2,3 The Message "So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory. In your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you."
Quote i'm loving today: "When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." (George Washington Carver). Think about it, when you command the attention of the world by being different in even the common areas of life, where is that attention pointing too...
Song I'm loving today: Much love :) And oh do i mean that!
So i'll be sparing details for the sake of very precious but extremely vulnerable children.
But today, I got mad.
Yeah ignorance is bliss.
It's true,
its so much easier to be ignorant, and visiting this place today....my heart wanted to bundle up in ignorance again, pretending i never saw what I did.
Pretending I didn't have to hear what I did.
I'm pretty darn tough,
but today broke me.
I've never had the thought, "Jesus, please take these kids lives right now because they will be better off with you. Please don't make them live another second like this."
But i did...many times that thought flooded my mind. It's hard to explain, and i just want to give you a glimpse.
To tell you of what i was wrecked of today...the world is SO much bigger than what is around you every day.
No matter how much we try to deny it, it's the truth.
And ugh today...well, I lost it.
Trying to remind myself to see through the eyes of God..not from my human fallible eyes.
"See the good, Jessica.
Don't focus on the ugly.
Look for good."
But I really struggled, to be honest.
So tonight I'm approaching the Throne of Grace, desperate for more.
And seeking what I can do to even shed some light on what was brought into my day today.
Got to end my night with some pretty wonderful tickles and laughs, though.
oh so fabulous it was!
And today, we got to bring a little girl home to her daddy.
Redemption...it's happening.
And even in the midst of dark, may we never miss it.
The good.
It's always there!
When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, Oh Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought JOY to my soul.
Psalm 94:18,19.
Today I met joy.
Children with no "logical" reason for it all...
children with every right to be angry and bitter.
Nope, there it was again....smiles...JOY...
Joy is something so powerful!
So tonight, amidst hurt, praise the Lord I'm covered in Joy!
Singing and dancing extra loudly tonight because of this joy, too.
The joy that moves my feet in the dark nights and the brightest days.
Oh sweet Joy, keep moving my feet to dance wildly in the grace offered to me every. single. moment.
Today I had the neatest experience.
So i was on a bota ride across town, and had a driver named Alli.
He was a father of six, and just such a genuine awesome super cool man!
Goodness, meeting people is awesome.
Anyways, the whole time do you know what he talked about?
His country, Uganda.
And his people.
He just went on and on about the spirit of the people here in Uganda.
How yeah, there's poverty everywhere but he sees so much good happening in that every day.
He said he see's hope, and can see God working in Uganda.
He was so proud....
And wanted to do what he could to make his country better. He really had a heart for the people here...his people.
The concept of community here is incredible...like NONE i have ever seen before.
This guy, Alli, was a bota (motorcycle taxi) driver.
He probably wouldn't go anywhere else in life.
He will spend his days providing for his wife and six kids.
He will make enough money to make ends meet and have food and a home and education for his kids.
He won't have much, but he will have enough.
He won't go anywhere great, extravagant, or far away.
And my friend Alli, is doing his very best right where he is at.
Spreading the love of Jesus right where he is at.
Sometimes, the powerful thing isn't in people who do the extravagant or the extraordinary.
But in the hardworking man like him.
Who doesn't have much, but to him it's plenty....because he loves his people and desires to see them do better! And he's helping them, coming alongside of them -- his community.
Simple right?
But to me, that's powerful.
Contemtment and complacency are two very different things.
And Alli, was content with what God had given him, and each day would do his very best with what he'd been given and beyond.
And then he'd wake up, and do it again.
Joy.....this man had it.
And oh, was he spreading it around!
Lesson learned today...pay attention to what's in front of you. Sometimes, although they are the most obvious, they are the most easily missed.
Alli, was taking a strange white girl across town on a fifteen minute boda ride.
He gives hundreds of rides each day.
And he still chose to notice what was in front of him...little old me...
never forgetting to notice the moment.
And because he noticed the moment, he taught me something today.
He's living a life of purpose, Alli is.
Even the small things, are perfectly painted into our lives by the Wonderful Artist, Himself.
Some things that make my heart smile today...
Today I've learned that maybe sometimes i block out the things that my eyes see here..for the sake of it being too overwhelming to process at the moment.
Blocking things out, never the answer.
There is ALWAYS room for Hope. May i even breathe Love and gleam Hope at everything i see and witness daily.
Today I've learned that friendships, well are just special. Relationships---are beautiful and SO VERY necessary.
Today I've seen and learned the importance and resilience of community.
Today I've gotten the grace of experiencing strangers being so very kind and helpful.
Today I've learned the beauty that singing outside in church to acoustic worship while holding a little girl who's whispering the song so beautifully in my ear with her little African accent has to offer.
Today I've giggled and danced with Zack in church.
Today I've learned that we are called to embrace the things that may pain our hearts to see.
Serving and sharing Truth, doesn't always come in the easy and attractive.
Today I've learned the power of a smile.
Today I've learned once again what it looks like to approach a Throne of Grace.
Today I've been humbled and knocked on my knees.
Today I've laughed and laughed and laughed.
These next pictures are specifically for my mom (who is pictured in the middle below) She's just on my heart tonight so i wanted to do something special for her. She is kind of just wonderful and i am so beyond thankful for her! If you don't know her well, i recommend you doing so. She will change your life. Her capacity to love will inspire you. And her joy will challenge you.
Mom, this was my lunch. PINEAPPLE.
And this is my dinner..ROLEX.. the thing i was telling you about :) LOVE YOU MOM!! so much! Just wanted to share this with you...hope this made your morning to see....Now you can feel like you've been at two meals with me
Since grace has been on my heart a lot lately, i thought i would share this song with you! Please, soak it in.
Grace, yeah its pretty unfathomable.
Thank you for everything you've brought me through.
Even the messy, and the hard, and the things i absolutely hated going through.
The times when i questioned...how could any good POSSIBLY come from this.
All those questions of how and why and the temptation to fall into regret or doubt.
And then, He brings me to a place and shows me.
Redemption.
Showing me, "This is why. It brought you HERE.
Every step in your journey, even the bad, even the small, added together in a brilliant puzzle to create the picture of today.
These faces, are the faces of redemption in your life.
And literally, they are My answers to Your prayer."
"I agree, there's an artist that leading me, and I will serve Him with my life.
I'm letting go to the way He colors so profound as He paints through me this entire, world around" -Michael Ketterer
Joshey Joshey Joshey. I kind of adore this kid.
You have NO idea how big of a deal it is for this girl to have a smile on her face. Love this!
And this....
Boys Boys Boys.....
These guys are the BEST of friends...partners in crime :)
And oh are they awesome.
This girl is one tough cookie. She is probably the strongest person i've met. Love that she was smiling today. Praying for her to get surgery soon!
Today I love,
that I was able to navigate through the market and town by myself..directional skills might be on the mend :)
that i was able to have the funnest conversation with my wonderful friend via video :) Loving skype today.
that I'm working on sleeping peacefully...even with lizards on my wall.
that journals are brilliant...
that I'm able to type something to my mom and that she can type something back totally understanding her humor (which is just like mine)
that there's always a tomorrow mapped out for us already...even before we begin to wonder about it.
So yeah, thank you Jesus. For all of that..for today, and everyday. For small pieces of my puzzle fitting together even today.
love, Jessica.
Yeah, this is pretty stunning. The Nile River....So much history and so much beauty. Even by creation, it's pretty obvious that life is so beyond ourselves.
Love.
I think I may have even written about this before...
but its SO huge to get. and SO wrecking my heart lately.
Am i really loving? Are we really loving? "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13
You see, this is love.
I witnessed today a girl who was 13. She understood what love, true love, was about.She had nothing really. An outfit or two maybe, and told me about how famine is such a huge problem in her town. She talked about how jobs were so hard to find, and how life is just hard sometimes where she lives. But with a smile so evident in her eyes, she was telling me all of this. She looked at Tasha who was in my arms and asked me if she was sick, to which i replied, "yes she is pretty sick." And you know what she said? She could have said a lot of things. Her life really wasn't "fair." She didn't have much at all, and this little sick girl was getting lots of love and help and attention.
"Oh, Jesus will help her. He is holding that little girl even now. I will pray."
Ha.
Wow.
THAT is love...
Even though this girl was only 13, she was so aware of the love that her Father had lavished upon her... even so that when faced with caring or praying for others, what was pleasing to herself seemed SO insignificant. Even if she could have really asked for a lot, and had really every right to. She wanted to care. She wanted to look beyond herself and point to Jesus.
We think that things or materials can change people.
That if they have good things, then they will understand...then they will be okay.
I'm finding by being here, that is so very wrong.
This girl had nothing, but at the same time had EVERYTHING.
She understood what I most often miss.
What love really is. And what it really looks like, with no selfish gain...NONE...in mind at all.
The TRUE Gift we have to give is nothing we can hold in our hands and hand out to people.
It's much deeper, much bolder, and lasts forever.
This is just one story. But oh it was a wonderful story today!
And i'm learning from it. I hope you do too.Oh I hope that sweet girl realizes what she taught me today.
But one day, we will be in Heaven together...me and her...and she'll know :)
About my day today, well it was pretty fantastic! This morning Emily, Sarah, and I took some of the kiddos to a clinic (that i can't believe we found due to the fact that it was way off the road and in such a random hilarious spot). GOOD NEWS!! They got their epilepsy medicine so hopefully they will start to see lots of progress! Oh goodness, i hope some of these little guys start feeling better. Tasha (the little 3 year old girl in the picture below with me) really needs some prayers! She is on TB medicine, and we think that she spends most of her days having focal seizures. This basically means she is in oblivion most of her life. If this is true, then this medicine provided by this wonderful doctor today should be able to help her tremendously! I would love to see this chicks personality come out..i can already tell she's going to be a sassy one :) So that's what we are praying for...healing. But apart from that, I must constantly remind myself to just rest...rest in His will and believe in that with all of my heart.
Me and Tasha...she is one tough girl!
Oh and just a funny moment i want to share..
JoJo.
This little guy is possibly the most content little dude i have EVER met.
He's sort of just happy in his own world, making his own noises (constantly), and just livin life.
He probably makes me laugh the most out of my days, and is pretty much just a joy to be around! He is so cuddly and cute..and yeah, just content.
Well JoJo gets sick quite often and right now has some nasty conjunctivitis stuff going on. Apparently, he has a very weird sensitive stomach too. So when me and Emily were eating dinner in the kitchen, we heard like a horrible gargling noise coming from JoJo's room. I assumed it was just some nasty stuff getting caught in his throat or nose....but when we went in to check on him...he was just laying down..with his face against the mosquito net, leaning against the bed, throwing up....A LOT! I wish i could have captured this moment on a picture, but amidst some crazy throwing up....he was just laying down moving his hands around, making his funny noises. Not moving at all.
He was completely content. Just throwing up on himself and chilling.
This little guy is a MESS! and has completely stolen my heart. Any man in my life has some serious competition, just sayin :)
Anyways, that was like a highlight of my night to see and so i thought i'd share!
Being vulnerable doesn't have to be threatening. Find the courage beyond yourself to be sincere, open and honest. This opens the door to deeper relationships.Speaking from the heart frees us from secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth.vulnerability.screams His mercy the loudest.
It’s different, ya know?
Being 18 and away from every hover of comfort I’ve ever known.
Even as much of a free-spirit that I naturally am...
I’ve always had some confines of rules,
Some comfort of the people around me backing me up,
I’ve always had people with me-- who just knew me...
The ones who you don’t really have to explain much too, they just know.
Which is wonderful.
Rules do hold you accountable,
and family and friends close by is a comfort that words can’t really do justice for...
especially with the remarkable friends and family i have been blessed with.
When the wheels (or whatever the proper word for them is) on that plane touched down on this soil, I knew that this would be so different.
And so new.
But so very necessary in my journey of life.
You see, no one really knows much about me here. At all.
I’m not ‘known’.
There are zero ‘rules’ that I answer to in terms of people. None at all.
I’m another face here, that has yet to have a story put with it.
No one really knows where I stand, what i believe, or what i’m like at all.
Again, so different than what I’ve known in life...away from my ‘hover of comfort’ completely.
And with this comes a whole new challenge...
Who am I really, apart from everything i’ve ever known.
How will i define myself?
How will i radiate the true One who truly defines me.
When i’m literally starting from a blank page with people here.
Such a beautiful, freeing thing..this blank page.
But not one to be taken lightly in the least bit.
See, I immediatly found my mind going to a place of,
“Be careful what you say, Jessica. You don’t want to mess up-- people might get the wrong idea. Make sure to watch your humor-- it does tend to get carried away sometimes. Make sure you are saying the right answers. People need to get the right idea...be careful to make sure people understand you right...”
There my mind was racing to appearing attractive with my words and stories.
Pride, they call it.
Ha, boy was I ever so wrong for these thoughts i’m realizing.
So. Terribly. Wrong.
So here I am, learning so much about this thing we have called
THE FREEDOM TO BE VULNERABLE.
Sometimes, especially in some scenes I have grown up in, it’s always been ‘easier’ to be looked at as such an “example” or a “role-model” without being vulnerable in the slightest.
Goodness, do we miss the point sometimes.
I know I do.
Having it all together all of the time is total deception.
It can be a deception of the worst kind.
Because that’s when it again, becomes all about us..all about me.
Where is Jesus in that?
Where is grace?
I don’t know, I feel like there is so much hurting that stays hidden for the sake of reputation or what not.
I’m probably the first to hide things-- or cover them up. I know that for sure.
“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)
Hmmm....I’m learning so intensely what this means.
When everyone here is new to me, what is my heart saying?
Is it talking?
Or are empty words of self-seeking acceptance coming out.
Again, vulnerability.
Being totally real.
Something that i’m learning more and more about each day, it seems.
And i’m seeing how glorifying to the Creator this can really be.
He never tells us to never ask Him the hard hard questions.
He never tells us to constantly have it all together on our own accord.
He never tells us to not acknowledge the past for the sake of a reputation.
Our messes,
our mistakes...
Well, those things can be the things that truly point to Jesus.
Because with out mess, there comes overflowing in His grace.
His love, so great and so unfathomable, that he loved us through it all?!
That’s real.
That’s beauty at its finest.
It’s humbling, really.
“Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” Or as The Message translates it, “It's who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.”
It doesn’t say for the sake of rules or appearing good that the mouth speaks.
But who are we, really, apart from all of the rules...at the end of the day when it’s just us in silence...who are we?
From the heart...
Are we truly speaking from our hearts?
And if so, what are we saying?
From our messy, wounded hearts so drenched in forgiveness and grace beyond ourselves.
This is something i don’t fully have a grip on yet.
Something that I’m working on.
Something that I’m learning so much about here.
These people here have taken vulnerability to a whole new level for me.
And Jesus is there, SO evident, right in the middle of it all.
It’s something that makes my heart want to burst,
that even vulnerability is an act of worship.
How. Completely. Freeing.
Tonight I got to sit on the front porch with this little growing family. Her next little one is due in a matter of weeks!!
She doesn’t speak english, and the only word her little man, Jamil, can say is “auntie” over and over again.
So sitting on the front porch,
with only the sounds of laughter
and us slurping from our messiness (and my inexperience) of eating sugar cane...
"It is about the greatness of God, not the significance of man. God made man small and the universe big to say something about Himself." -John Piper
Check this song out..its pretty great
Well today, a bacteria of some sort decided to try and call my stomach it’s home :)
So with my body begging me for some rest, i welcomed it with open arms!
Today i got to rest and spend some time with these wonderful people.
Some call them just kids, but actually these kids are my heros.
And they are just wonderful, a complete mess....yes....but wonderful all the same.
This is my girl.
This is Zeke pretty much all of the time!
So today,
i’m finding myself so thankful for saltine crackers, quick calls to my incredible mom, soft drinks...loads of them, a total downpour of a rainstorm, Will Reagan’s cd, wonderful new friends to sit and talk with about things on our minds....
for my pillow pet
for books
for Aaron who's teaching me more on the guitar
for these wonderful faces that you see in the pictures...they are just a few of my heros that live at this house...but i’m so thankful for sitting on the front porch time tonight.
And for the giggles....oh the giggles.
Another night of dancing to Waka Waka while i sit on the couch and shared LOUD laughs with Zak (I’m not even sure why he was laughing, but boy was he laughing! Which made the reason..well, not so important).
And tonight, while i’m really trying my best (and i think i’m making progress) at talking to this new friend in my stomach and letting it know that i really don’t like him being there, I’m very thankful for my wonderfully comfortable pants (props to goodwill) and my lovely cozy flannel (thanks to my insanely awesome friend tab!)
Today was quiet and wondrous.
Today was filled with silence, laughter, screams, and everything in between.
But today was a day that i got to be here-right where I'm meant to be. Right at the place that God carved out four months for me to be in.
And oh boy, am i so thankful!
Thankfulness changes everything...
Everyday has purpose- when we choose to see it that way.
This tired body is now off to bed! Got a morning breakfast with a new friend i've yet to meet....but some of my favorite people back home know her pretty well. Pretty small world huh? :) I just love that.
