Love is a beautiful thing.

Today has been....
beautiful.
emotional.
confusing.
numbing.
redeeming.
hilarious.
sorrowful.
joyful.
hopeful.
Yep, all in one day.

Today, as we were climbing the slippery, wet, muddy, vibrant red dirt hill...
I was flooded with thoughts.
We were climbing this little hill to go visit a hurting mama.
To let her know that we love her and care for her and support her.
To let her know that we are her family, too.
We were there to see her little girl for the last time.

The scene of a tiny little girl, wrapped up in cloth showing only her beautiful face and tiny hands, lying
completely still on the floor,
with a weeping mourning mother over her.
Well, it's a scene that in my mind tonight....i never want to have to be a part of again, honestly.

I want to use this post to pay tribute to a beautiful woman tonight.
Her name is Stella.
And she is the weeping mother laying over her little girl that she fought so desperately for.
That she loved with her whole heart.
And that she carried until the very end of her little life.

Stella.
Has no 'reason' to be as stunning and joyful as she is.
She has lost two husbands to illness...
She is struck with an incurable illness herself.
And she had a beautiful baby girl who was healthy.
Until TB and an ear infection came.
And then she didn't have money for transport.
And the TB and ear infection went to little Shamim's brain.
And the brain damage took place.
Shamim wasn't born with brain damage, sickness gave it to her.
Sickness that, with medical care, could have been taken care of.
So when Shamim came to Ekisa, she was stiff, so skinny, couldn't see well, couldn't talk, couldn't walk, couldn't mumble, couldn't communicate.
Her brain was so damaged.
And do you know what Stella did?
She walked around this house and FLAUNTED her daughter.
She showed her off and said her name over and over again as she entered the room...almost as if she was saying, "look who is entering the room. The stunning, brilliant, and talented Shamim herself."
She loved this baby girl.
She fed her even when it took hours for her to take a small bit of a bottle and hold it down.
She came to us even when she had the slightest fever or cough...always concerned about her sweet girl above herself.
When Shamim was crying, Stella just rocked her and smiled her brilliant smile and laughed while singing, "Shaaamiimmm. Shaaammmiiimm."
This is no exaggeration. This is how Stella loved.
Unconditionally
and
Wholeheartedly.
Her daughter was a rock-star in her eyes.
Her daughter was perfect in her eyes.
Her daughter just blew her away.

And today, she weeped the loss of her daughter that she so passionately loved and fought for.
Each day Shamim was in the hospital, Stella was holding her and singing to her.
I will never erase from my memory the sight of Stella washing Shamim's little teeny purple socks and hanging them over the balcony of the hospital.
Shamim didn't need clean socks.
They weren't even that dirty.
But to Stella, Shamim deserved those clean little socks. It was important to Stella that she knew how much her mama loved her.
Shamim went to Heaven knowing that her mama was her biggest fan here on earth.

And today as the cries of a mother's broken heart filled my ears.
I wanted to push them away. My heart hurt, and I didn't want to remember that sound.
I don't.
But as i sat there in that small hut doing all i can to pray comfort over Stella.
I didn't want to see the good at the moment. I couldn't find it. I looked for it, but it was hard to see.
I just couldn't find the good.
And then, like a waterfall of grace washing over me, i saw it.

Through Stella, I saw a glimpse of how Jesus loves me. How he loves this earth.
And how He anguishes over losses.
And how He fights till the very end.
And how He sees very underserving people, deserving.
And how He loves us and holds us through things even when it may seem pointless in our blemished eyes.

Thank you, Stella.
Thank you for showing me what unconditional love looks like.
Thank you for showing me the reality of true raw emotions.
They just revealed more of your heart today.
And they showed me more of the Father's heart today.
I felt and heard how His heart breaks over a broken world.

And thank you, Shamim.
For showing me strength.
For showing me beauty.
And teaching me to love in a deeper way than i ever imagined.
I'm so thankful that i could rub your little back on Monday and tell you how beautiful you were.
Thanks Shamim, for surrending to Jesus when He called you home.
For reminding me how fleeting life is.
But oh how precious and important it is.

OH!
This evening, I got to go on a date.
Yes three very handsome boys went into town with me for ice cream.
Zak, Jason, and Walter.
Me and emily could not contain our laughter just about the whole time.
Oh what a good end to a day :)
These kids, are something else.
I'm telling you what.

Much much love today :)