Greatness for a sake way bigger than our own....

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

“...We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Anonymous 

So this quote has been on my mind so much as well as this verse..

“For God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”

2 Timothy 1:7

So many people have been asking for specifics about life here....

and i’m trying to do okay to include some! 

Life here even for the first two weeks has been wonderful and filled with such Life.

Life here has been so different than anything i have ever experienced before, but from that i am growing so much. More than i really thought i would.

Life here is brilliant because I’m serving a God who is so brilliant and who created some pretty wonderful people in the city of Jinja, Uganda.

And also many many people who need Him...which is on my heart so dearly.

But it’s hard to write about really, well just yet, because i have so much on my mind and heart about the specifics here...i don’t feel like i can get them into even a small writing just yet.

So give me time, and i’d love to let you in on my days.

Life’s kindove meant to be shared..an open book...i’m realizing.

And also, some of the reason i don’t write about some things going on is for the respect and privacy of some people here, my new friends..

But i love to share with you lessons that i have been learning! Because apart from what goes on here day-to-day...there are always things to be soaked in and lessons to learn.

Anywho..sorry for that tangent.

That verse..

God has given...did you get that?? He has GIVEN us a spirit of power and of love and of self-control.

Like that’s not a what if or maybe He has given me that or a well..... but i’m not so sure yet.

No, He has given that to us. wow.

So please, i beg you,

don’t hold back.

don’t refrain from a gift that you were given.

It is there for a reason.

The Creator gave it to you, instilled you with that specific design, for a purpose.

Life is bigger than a “mission trip”

or a Sunday morning.

or a once-a-week occasion.

or a meal time prayer.

Life is HERE.

And each moment, you have a choice.

You can fan into FLAMES that gift that He has entrusted you with.

Or you can not.

You can live your days for a Purpose..for the purpose you were created to..

You were blessed to go and Bless.

You were made to further the Kingdom.

“Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on EARTH as it is in Heaven.”

Or you can not.

But i beg you to truly consider that which is pressing upon your heart.

To follow it up with wisdom.

And to spread that fire, to where it can’t help but to be contagious.

We were made for greatness, because we were created by the Greatest.

Never forget that. It’s vital in this life to grasp.

Greatness is in no way  bound by circumstance or location.

Greatness is manifested in the most humblest of situations and times even.

Greatness...true greatness...is gained by nothing of our own accord.

Greatness is simply but oh so powerfully pointing to the limitless Creator.

THAT’S Greatness.

When we try to be great for greatness sake, for greatness as the world defines and sees it, we always fail.

Everyone knows and has tasted the feeling of emptiness that comes from trying to attain perfection or acceptance.

I tried my whole life to obtain a level of perfection that would lead me to be accepted.

To be great on my own terms and on my own accord.

But still, as fun as it seemed sometimes.

At the end of the day, when it was just me and my thoughts....EMPTINESS...total emptiness.

And that was about two years ago that my life was turned around completely....and brought into the reality of true joy.

Of true joy that comes from taking myself out of the center of my picture.

True joy that changes the definition of greatness to being a child of The Great God and longing to just share that with the world in any way i can.

THAT is greatness.

Being great is so beyond ourselves......

Greatness is for the sake of others..for the lost to be found... to JOIN alongside of me.....of us.

And to join in with the singing.....

The singing to the Love that brought us all here in the first place and to the same Love that will eventually take us Home.

Oh yeah, 

Greatness is definitely beyond us.

Don’t. Miss. It.

The other day, we got to go to a wedding :) It was pretty spectacular and SO much fun to be a part of.

And these are six of our kiddos who joined us..I mean could they look any cuter?!

And this is another failed attempt to get everyone in a picture...smiling and looking at the camera.

I got to go play in a field with baby goats and lots of kids!! It was pretty wonderful if you ask me.

Another day of resting in the Joy that I was so freely given....

Much love :)

Today I learned.

Please listen to this. (you may want to pause music on the side)

Today I learned.
That grace isn't always in the pretty, but in the seemingly ugly.
In the seemingly hopeless.
And in the seemingly lost.
Because you see, its then when God can really show Himself powerful.
And show Himself faithful.
Even if it means we must just learn a hard lesson in the ugly and hard...
That's grace abounding because, you see, we learned.

I've soaked in what strength these kids teach me.
Despite abuse, extreme neglect, and hurt...they bounce back with total resilience?
It doesn't make sense, really.
But that's the strength they display, and they totally don't even realize it.
I'm here to help them, but as cliché as it may sound, they have already taught me so much more...
That happiness can be found in the smallest of things.
That dancing is the perfect way to end a day..especially in grass skirts.
And that Jesus is always the right answer to a question.
         Example of a conversation... "Jason, do you want to go to timeout?" "Oh its ok, I'll just see Jesus there."

That there is ALWAYS more room to love, and always more love to give when we are serving the Master of Love, Himself.

That even fifty-five kisses in a row isn't even enough for a boy who is just starting to learn what love is all about.
And that God is gracious enough to continue to teach this boy what love really is about despite a past filled with no tangible evidence of love at all.

Today I've been wrecked once again in some major faults of my own.
My heart's been ripped open to my own ignorance and pride, but then again it kindove is every day.
There's no day I am perfect.
No day that i really and truly do my absolute best.
And i make mistakes, plenty of them.
But learning from them....for sure.
Another example of grace.
GRACE. i can't really even fathom it.
How amazing it really is.

Today I was exposed to pain at its finest.
So i'm holding on to the TRUTH that His strength extends even when weakness is abounding.
And just to the truth that He knows.
We don't have to beg Him to listen.
He knows.

Today I've been filled with laughter.
More than i can imagine.
I believe that's how every day should be.
Laughter is my medicine, and believe me i get plenty of doses!
Plenty of loud obnoxious doses :)
I love how we don't have to try and laugh, ya know?
It's natural.
It was instilled in us.
Laughter is a beautiful thing, dont miss it.

Today I've learned how to giggle while getting peed on plenty of times.
Today I've learned that it truly doesn't matter how dirty your feet are, how often you get to wash your hair,
or how many times spit up has graced this shirt.

Today, I've learned that i'm obsessed with pineapples and avacados,
and that my nails grow faster in Africa.
Today, I've learned so many new names and so many new faces.
Today, I've learned how LOVE and PERSEVERENCE go together (2 Thess. 3:5).
Today I've learned (or was reminded of) how many wonderful people i have in my life.
Sometimes, i can't really believe it. Goodness, i love you guys.
Today, I've learned that passions aren't for nothing.
Today, I've learned that ignorance is not the answer, to anything.
Today, I've learned that i'm just thankful.
Today, I've learned that Jesus can rock your world today and everyday when you choose to see the world through His eyes.
Today, I've learned so much more about the word love.
Today, I've been reminded of how much i love thunderstorms.
Today, I've been reminded of how wondrous and breathtaking the moon is,
and how i want to be like the moon...just like it...a REFLECTOR.
And today, I've learned more about what Hope looks like in action.

Today, I've learned that in all of its messiness,
the day was beautiful.
And despite bad news,
at the end of the day we are called to REST assured in the GOOD NEWS.

So to end with that,
today is beautiful.

Shout out to my pops.

                                                         Happy Birthday Dad!!!

This is a shout out to my pops. 

Or as some people know him, my dad. :)...Brad Akins of Akins Ford in Winder.. hahaha. 

I figured he is missing my humor right about now, so hopefully you appreciate it dad :)

Well for those of you who don't know him, you are missing out! 

This man is the smartest,

most loving, 

caring,

genuine,

HILARIOUS,

goofy,

strong-willed,

devoted,

hard working,

selfless man.

At work, hes a boss and in charge of lots of things and has to be quite serious often. He's quite the brilliant boss too.

But at home, he's just my dad.

And i wouldn't have him any other way!! I wish with all my heart that i could be with him on his birthday, but since i can't, i thought a shout out on here would be pretty special for him.

I love you dad so much! 

Thanks for everything you've taught me and for all the laughter that you spread around.

You know, you can make me laugh like no one else!

We are so different, but i love that.

I think we balance each other out quite well :)

You are my dad, but also my close friend.

I miss you SO much but get ready for our crazy African adventure.

Happy birthday dad, i love you so much!

A prayer.

Being With People.

Please, i pray, may I never deem myself superior to another.
May i always be willing to hold the hands, the oh so dirty hands, and not just merely wave.

Please, i pray, may i never stop seeing the world through the eyes of a child...
Filled with opportunity, grace, forgiveness, love, and so much raw wonder in beauty.

 Please, i pray, may i never forget what the true meaning of joy is.
That it ACTUALLY means regardless..yes, regardless of circumstances...You, Jesus, truly are enough.

Please, i pray, may i never get so caught up in worry, anguish, or circumstances that i forget to care.
Forget to love.
Forget to hold.
Forget to smile.
Forget to share....oh yes, may I keep breathing those three words, "blessed TO bless."

Please, I pray, may i never forget to fall in love all over again each day.
I mean madly in love with each day.
Because love is an action.
And the day i've been given..regardless of how it may seem to me..is an ACTION of Love from God to us, who Himself is LOVE.

Please, I pray, may i NEVER forget to be bold.
To be daring in the face of danger.
To love when it hurts.
To believe when none of it makes sense.
To speak Beauty over pain.
Goodness,
To be bold can even mean to share a smile, a hello even.
To pray for someone who is so hard to pray for.
Because their nasty sin was covered on the cross just as well as mine.
Bold.
May i never forget.
May we never forget.

These are my thoughts.
My hope for today, and every day that comes after that.
Because we never really figure it out.
oh no we sure don't , every day we learn.
Again and again and again.

Much love :)

So today......

I had wonderful talks with Emily tonight and learned a lot more about our kiddos here. But i'm praying about how best to share that with you :) But let me just say that these faces you see of these kiddos are pictures of strength, beauty, and resilience.
So tonight...
We had a dance party again to their favorite song playing over and over again. They call it "shaminamina" (in the cutest voices ever) but most of you would know it as Shakira's song Waka Waka.
It is a pretty fabulous song and they go NUTS over it and i join right in!
If videos didn't take so long to upload i would show you the video of it. There's noise, laughter, dancing, and some fits over who hit who and who gets to dance with who all at the same time. It is probably one of the most joyous times of the night.
JoJo....who has so much sass... just faces the wall sitting in the frog position with his face propped up against the wall staring at everyone while he makes "ba ba ba"sounds with his mouth.
He can't talk, but you can so tell that the thoughts on his mind are "oh my word, i am so over this!" This little guy is mr. personality and will always make you laugh. I can't wait to take some good pictures with him.
So as JoJo lays against the wall pondering the immaturity of us all, Rachel is yelling for me to pick her up and hold her hands so she can walk and dance.
Debra is smiling on the ground and moving all around, wishing for someone to pick her up so she can show off her true dancing skills. And we she does, she lights up the room.
Zak is sitting down saying the same cute things over and over again wondering what everyone is doing moving around so fast. He stands up to join but can only bust out bouncing his knees up and down. Which is enough.. Its big for him :)
Jamil is moving his little self around the room tearing it up.
Jason is steeling the show with his incredible dance moves and facial expressions...He loves to dance and i think he loves how he dances too! The boy can break it down, i must give it to him.
Walter is grabbing my hands unsure what to really do, but when we start moving and shaking around, his face lights up and he too is stealing the show.
Zeke is sitting down laughing at everything going on. Oh the boy laughs and laughs and laughs.....
Arifat CANNOT stop laughing either...and repeating what the song is saying.
Everyone is yelling "SHAMINAMINA ITS TIME FOR AFRICA"
The disco ball is rolling, lighting up the room.
And it is a good night here at Ekisa.
Filled with joy and laughter.
Something we too often forget about.

And before i got to spend a whole day here with the sweetest and coolest kids around (aside from a run into town for some diet coke and coffee haha) , I took my friend Aaron BUNGEE JUMPING!!
We ended up being a part of a big group that was there, so it was just so fantastic.
I got to meet SO many people from all around and get to know them a little bit. I love the beauty of timing, how it all works out perfectly. Even in the seemingly insignificant part of our days, theres a bigger plan played out for it.
I even met two guys from Jordan so now i have connections there if i ever make it over there someday! ha. so very neat :)
Well it made my day to see how excited Aaron was to go. He was awesome at it! He went first out of everyone and yelled "BUNNNNGGEEEEE" the whole way down. He rocked it!
Then i went last after taking pictures for everyone.
It was a feeling like i have NEVER felt before...the biggest rush i believe. Free falling two hundred feet and getting DUNKED in the water. I don't believe there's much like it. It was the biggest rush i couldn't stop running around after i was done.
I was so thankful for this chance to go this morning and just to be quiet, unwind and meet some great people. It was much needed and did so much good!
Here are a few pictures from our adventure with that....

                                                                    Morning arrival!

                                                          This is aaron!! He was so excited

                                                                   BUNGEEEEEE

                                                      Some of the wonderful people i've met.

Oh and i can't wait to show the video, i'm afraid i scream like a  bear. Weird? yeah, i know.
Much love :)


Oh and a pretty spectacular verse for today.....

      Walk in the path He shows you; follow the path absolutely, keep an eye out for the sign posts....then             you'll get on well in whatever you do and wherever you go.
                   1 Kings 2:1 The Message

Hope.

So today, i was in a car ride for about an hour to a village.
I've never had such mixed emotions at the same time before. There's so much incredible beauty in this land it will take your breath away...the crops, hills, and everything green with the river and red dirt...it's the most  beautiful mixture.
God is such an artist :)
And then you see these people, these kids that are so young, walking with water jugs on their heads -- knowing that they must be walking far from home to get clean water to drink.
And you see these naked babies playing in the dirt, just sitting there.
And you see these men who look so empty and lost...finding comfort in alcohol of massive amounts.
And you see poverty...you can smell it even.
And yes i know i may be a "immature" at Africa since it is my first time, but i'm just observing-- trying to take everything in.
The run down brick buildings,
the mud huts,
the hungry children,
and then you hear laughter and you see joy,
but then i also see addiction and pain.
All in one place?
I don't quite know how to take it in....
And in my mind i'm thinking literally, "Why can't some wealthy ruler come in, tear down this town and just rebuild it. Rebuild the economy. Rebuild every house and building. Give these people jobs. Give these people sustainability. Give these people clean roads, clean water, and enough food to eat.
Jesus, give them all of these things, please, why can't they have all of these things?
Things like i have had the opportunity of having.....
Ha, but that's where i'm so wrong.
My heart and my head wants all of these precious people to here to have all of the things i see as comforting.
I want them to have clean sheets, a warm bed, a loving mom to tuck them in every night, a good place to eat, a clean place to cook, clothes for everyone.
But these are all things, and things will pass away.
As much as i try to deny it, THINGS are so very insignificant. As much as i would like to hope it would be, because in my so fallible mind it makes sense to think that, THINGS are the answer.
But then i hear that laughter out of this poverty stricken place and i'm reminded of Joy.
That i need to get out of my "things" "American" "selfish" mindset and realize whats truly important.
Hope.
See, as much i would like to help every single person and give them every comfort that i was graced with having.
I can't.
I am not the answer for them, nor is anything i can give them.
And yes, giving to these people and these children is necessary. It's a MUST. It's a way to show the Heart of the One and Only Hope.
But when these precious people's conditions on earth can't really get much better, at the end of the day, they need to hear laughter.
They need to see smiles.
They need to see that life goes beyond today.
That things will fade away with our bodies, but there is something so much more beyond that, and it will last forever.
As much as i look as these people and see that they are dying.
Well, we are all right there with them.
We are all dying eventually.
Hope isn't different in my home as it is here. They need the same hope. That Hope will bring them life. It is the answer, the only answer. He is the only answer.
So i'm praying that Jesus will be brought to them. That i can even be used in the slightest to show them His character.
To be able to give them food or water or clothes in order for them to see that beyond the gifts, there's a gift waiting for them of ETERNAL life and of eternal joy and of no more pain or hurt.
So that's my prayer today..
That i would stop living as if there wasn't an end of my days here on earth.
 That i would embrace the wonderful things and opportunities each day, even when they don't look so wonderful at the moment, and look forward to and work towards what's beyond my life, when my days are up on this earth :)
And ugh i'm so far from this.....i belong on NO pedistool and deserve NO acknowledgement, please. Like seriously.
I mess up every day in so many areas...these are things things are wrecking my heart lately.
And i'm learning..everyday am i learning.
And so i'm hoping that as you read this, you can join and learn with me.....

Pictures...

Not lots of time to write...
hopefully i will tonight :)
I have been out of internet for quite a bit, but it has actually been a very good thing i must say!
Here are some pictures for now...

                                    We had to fix some boo boos on his toes.... :( But we are all better now!

                                               These kids are pictures of His strength and beauty..  

                                  This is my lap crew for our ride into Kampala to go to the clinic for the day.
                                                          So thankful for a successful clinic visit :)

                                           Me and Jason going to church! Isn't he handsome??

writing to come later
I do want to leave you with this one verse, though.
It's in 1 Thessalonians 1:3
"...your work is produced by your faith. Your service is the result of your Love. Your strength to continue comes from your Hope in the Lord."
hmmmm....something to soak in and think about..has been for me all day.