She was there, in her room. And there it was again -- the darkness.
Tangible darkness. Hovering over her like a close friend.
She was a little girl. Wild, resilient, and free-spirited.
Her curly hair in a tangled mess wherever she went, but insecurities of no kind overtook her.
Confident. Strong-willed. And stubborn.
And then at night, this girl started being overtaken by dreams -- nightmares.
Nightmares that seemed more like real life. Nightmares of witches haunting her, hurting her family.
And then when she woke up from her nightmares --franticked and confused -- the nightmares were still there, alive in her room.
Shapes of darkness hovering over her.
Paralyzing her with fear.
She felt it -- the heaviness on her chest.
Her inability to breathe was ever present and there this little girl laid, frozen in fear.
Encompassed by evil.
Demons, choosing to hover over her.
The nights were sleepless.
The days were filled with exhaustion and confusion.
Why wasn’t the world beautiful anymore?
She had such a beautiful life, days filled with laughter,
but what was this going on? Why was no one else seeing this?
Why? So much fear. So much confusion. So much darkness.
And she was so little.
But those little innocent eyes were now opened to the spiritual realm.
And the darkness was fighting over her, fighting for her.
The darkness desired this little soul.
But little did she know at that time, there was a force in this spiritual realm that her eyes were opened to that desired her all the more. THE very Force -- the Creator and Rescuer of our souls.
This little girl was me.
And my little soul was opened up to darkness really early on in life.
Seeing what many people don’t even acknowledge in their long years of life.
That there is a battle for our souls happening.
After I let my parents know about what was going on, they consulted some very key people in my life who helped them pray hard over my life.
And one day, while I was at school, my mom anointed and prayed over my room the whole day.
The whole day I was being prayed over by my mom and I had no idea.
That night, the darkness continued no more. I was freed. Prayer broke the bondage over my soul and Jesus took over -- allowing them to hover me no more.
I didn’t know that she had spent that whole day in prayer until years later.
Years and years after that, I’ve wondered what all of that was for.
What the purpose was of me being exposed to such evil at that young age.
It’s still so vivid in my mind. It’s so clear to me how REAL evil is.
And as I get older, I see it more and more. Why it all happened to me.
Why my life has gone the way it has.
Why my soul was so important to the very Creator of it.
Why did He save me from it?
Now, just to be clear, since I stopped having hard spiritual warfare battles when I was little , my life hasn’t been all happy and free.
I’ve struggled a lot.
I went through a lot of darkness as I got older, too.
Heavy things.
But i could always hold on to hope.
Because I knew that for some reason, I was rescued.
Jesus chose to spare me. Little messed up me.
I knew that there was a purpose.
And so here I am today.
With a total sense of freedom.
Absolute. FREEDOM.
And yet, I know that its not just meant for me.
Freedom is meant for us all.
After-all, it is for “Freedom that Christ has set us free.” Galatians 5:1
And I’m grateful, grateful to know what freedom feels like. Physically feels like.
And I know that I cannot ignore what I know. What I have experienced.
My eyes have seen things, and now I am held responsible to act on what I have seen.
Desiring freedom for people.
Desiring joy for people.
Desiring people (ALL people) to see that they are literal works of art.
Created for purpose.
Created. For. A. Reason.
For its when that truth encompasses our heart -- that freedom is allowed to overtake us.
And my oh my how awesome it is to be able to dance in freedom daily, regardless of circumstances.
Regardless of how things appear.
Because in freedom, we acknowledge there is ALWAYS hope.
And ALWAYS joy.
Joy is seeing Gods goodness. Always.
The reason that I am writing all of this -- why its so on my heart.
Is because that little girl, had a mom.
A mom who prayed.
A mom who cared enough to get on her knees for the sake of her daughter.
A mom who was able to see a bigger picture happening.
A mom who has loved that little girl all the days of her life, so far, -- unconditionally.
Today is my moms birthday.
And I want to tell her every wonderful thing about her and help her have a day to just celebrate herself!
But I also just want her to know how grateful I am -- like deeply grateful for her.
Yes, she is the most wonderful mom.
A mom who ALWAYS had the best dinners at home.
Who always packed the best snacks.
The mom who snuggled every morning.
The mom who danced with you.
The mom who knows
The mom that everyone was drawn too.
Everyone has always loved their Ms. Julie.
But my mom, saw the bigger picture of being a mom.
She fought, very hard for her children.
She prayed, all day over me.
Because she knew that I was the Lords in the first place.
So today, I’m celebrating my mom. And all she means to me.
I love her so so dearly and I’m thankful to have her in my life, as my friend.
There is NONE like her.
And today, I’m thankful.
Thankful for each and everyday of her life.
Thankful for her nutty crazy self.
Thankful for her hippie-soul, which has carried onto me.
Thankful for her heart.
Thankful for her spunk.
Thankful for every prayer she has spoken on my behalf.
And thankful for each and every day of life that she has given me.
I love you mom!
You are beautiful in every aspect of the word.
Happy birthday! :)
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